11-19-2016, 11:52 PM
0 - Bellini. A perfect 10/10.
Of course I'm on the list. I'm fabulous, and you don't need me to tell you that. I'm obviously perfect in every way, and thus cannot even be given a number. But, given the opportunity, I would fuck myself so hard that we would probably create a new parallel universe, or something.
1 - Catchphrase (Emile). 10/10.
Kudos to the whole ensemble, for sure.
It was hardly easy to pick which of my top three to grand the honor of being number one. Sneaks and Scales were almost impossibly close seconds and thirds, but I decided that the opportunity to make Catchphrase sing like a canary was far too important not to put him as number one. Plus, can you imagine Hunie's face?!
2 - Sneaks (Ergene). 10/10.
Those eyes. Those eyes. Mhf.
A regrettable second. I can't handle that silent, stoic thing. You never know what the man is thinking, and that's just exactly what I'm in to at this exact moment. And did I mention those eyes? Girl.
3 - Scales (Reydan). 10/10.
I don't even know where to start.
The perfect blend of snark and edginess. I can only imagine what kind of banter would unfold in certain... circumstances. I hardly think my shirts would fit him, but he could always borrow my eyepatch for his Walk of Shame.
4 - Mercer (Rick). 9/10.
If I weren't gay, I would most certainly have sex with Val. But, since I am, in fact, gay, Rick will have to do.
5 - Lady's Knight (Zeshant). 9/10.
A looker, but a bit stiff. Sometimes I wonder how far that extends. However, he gets bonus points and ranks this high on the list because I would just LOVE to tell Twila all about it, given a certain crush she had so many years ago. Pretty sure I would stab him if he shouted "MY LADY!" at any point during the night, though.
6 - Chuckles (Laughing Mountain). 8/10.
I would pay money to see that grin shining in the moonlight.
7 - Smiles (Calm Garden). 9/10.
If he weren't so young, and so damn innocent, he might have ranked a few spots higher. But I would almost feel bad corrupting him.
Almost.
8 - Marcy (Marcellus). 8/10.
He's got the height, but a little stiff. I almost feel bad for having this one on the list given -circumstances-, but hey, everyone's fair game.
9 - Twitch (Lucien Osric). 8/10.
Villainy does not make one less attractive, though I might have to move him to the Dishonorable Mentions section if we find out he did anything that makes me want to kill him any more than I already do.
Moved.
10 - Tryhard (Xenkei). 8/10.
He thinks he can fight anyone. I wonder how hard he would fight if
Nevermind.
9 - Kite. 7/10.
Don't know him enough to give him a proper nickname, but he knows how to use that tongue of his to get into all sorts of trouble, so I mean.
Plus, he's the tallest miqo'te I've ever seen.
10 - Quentyn. 7/10.
Boy wouldn't know what to do with it, but I feel like that almost makes it better. Hope he comes back, at least. Don't want to have to move another person off the list.
11 - Luka. 7/10.
Lord, I doubt his cards could let him prepare for me. I feel like Hunie would probably kill me, but it would probably be worth it, let's be honest.
12. - Doctor Handsome (D'bhin). ???/10.
An interesting specimin. Seems he has a pension for phantasia. Makes you wonder what's under the mask. I did always say that if he was taller, I would jump on that like a runaway train...
Honorable Mentions
Tryhard (Xenkei) - 8/10
Come back and you get back on the list. That should be reason enough for you to kill that fucker of a sword.
Bookmark (Robin) - 6/10.
Probably would think about strategy the whole time. Can't decide if that's a good thing or not. Bonus points for pissing off Twila.
Esmond - 7/10.
If he would stick his face out from his own ass, and then from the book pulled out from the same orifice, he would have made the list proper.
Nemesis (V'shach) - 4/10.
A bit old, and short, but I have a feeling those guns aren't the only things he can shoot.
Old Man (Alex) - 4/10.
Ironic that his name seems to be more fitting than ever. If he wasn't, you know, dying rapidly and growing older by the year daily, perhaps.
Big Guy (Eros) - 5/10.
A bit dense, but a loveable guy. Think I have to get to know him more before I can truly say. Seems a bit young, though.
Person (Keel) - 5/10.
I have never seen someone so... average, before in my entire life. I bet his favorite position is missionary.
Stinker (Lunis) - 1/10.
He's a goddamn baby. But, give him twenty years and, judging from his uncle and father, we can talk.
Boy Toy (Truenikos) - 5/10.
Purely to piss off Twila.
Tiger (A'mahxie) - 4/10.
Too young, too loud, and too short. But we'll see, I guess.
Kid (A'yuvn) - 4/10.
Too short, and the amnesiac thing never really did it for me. No offense.
Kaiden - 7/10.
Too young, but I have a feeling he'll kick someone off the list in a few years.
Pina - 9/10.
If you were a guy, I would have paid triple your normal fee by now.
Hunie - 10/10.
Love you girl <3.
Champaska - 11/10.
I promise I'll bring you back, and I'll kill anyone that tries to stop me.
Dishonorable Mentions
Isaac - 4/10.
Too young, and too evil. That shadow is making me really confused right now, though.
Seventus - 8/10.
A perfect example of a pretty face gone sour. If only he wasn't the scum of the earth, right?
Twitch (Osric) - 8/10.
A second perfect example.
Doctor Voss - 0/10.
Fuck off and die, asshole.
Libra - 1/10.
I'm sure he was a looker before he dropped a moon on his own stupid head, but I mean hey, life's full of surprises, amirite?
Of course I'm on the list. I'm fabulous, and you don't need me to tell you that. I'm obviously perfect in every way, and thus cannot even be given a number. But, given the opportunity, I would fuck myself so hard that we would probably create a new parallel universe, or something.
1 - Catchphrase (Emile). 10/10.
Kudos to the whole ensemble, for sure.
It was hardly easy to pick which of my top three to grand the honor of being number one. Sneaks and Scales were almost impossibly close seconds and thirds, but I decided that the opportunity to make Catchphrase sing like a canary was far too important not to put him as number one. Plus, can you imagine Hunie's face?!
2 - Sneaks (Ergene). 10/10.
Those eyes. Those eyes. Mhf.
A regrettable second. I can't handle that silent, stoic thing. You never know what the man is thinking, and that's just exactly what I'm in to at this exact moment. And did I mention those eyes? Girl.
3 - Scales (Reydan). 10/10.
I don't even know where to start.
The perfect blend of snark and edginess. I can only imagine what kind of banter would unfold in certain... circumstances. I hardly think my shirts would fit him, but he could always borrow my eyepatch for his Walk of Shame.
4 - Mercer (Rick). 9/10.
If I weren't gay, I would most certainly have sex with Val. But, since I am, in fact, gay, Rick will have to do.
5 - Lady's Knight (Zeshant). 9/10.
A looker, but a bit stiff. Sometimes I wonder how far that extends. However, he gets bonus points and ranks this high on the list because I would just LOVE to tell Twila all about it, given a certain crush she had so many years ago. Pretty sure I would stab him if he shouted "MY LADY!" at any point during the night, though.
6 - Chuckles (Laughing Mountain). 8/10.
I would pay money to see that grin shining in the moonlight.
7 - Smiles (Calm Garden). 9/10.
If he weren't so young, and so damn innocent, he might have ranked a few spots higher. But I would almost feel bad corrupting him.
Almost.
8 - Marcy (Marcellus). 8/10.
He's got the height, but a little stiff. I almost feel bad for having this one on the list given -circumstances-, but hey, everyone's fair game.
9 - Twitch (Lucien Osric). 8/10.
Villainy does not make one less attractive, though I might have to move him to the Dishonorable Mentions section if we find out he did anything that makes me want to kill him any more than I already do.
Moved.
10 - Tryhard (Xenkei). 8/10.
He thinks he can fight anyone. I wonder how hard he would fight if
Nevermind.
9 - Kite. 7/10.
Don't know him enough to give him a proper nickname, but he knows how to use that tongue of his to get into all sorts of trouble, so I mean.
Plus, he's the tallest miqo'te I've ever seen.
10 - Quentyn. 7/10.
Boy wouldn't know what to do with it, but I feel like that almost makes it better. Hope he comes back, at least. Don't want to have to move another person off the list.
11 - Luka. 7/10.
Lord, I doubt his cards could let him prepare for me. I feel like Hunie would probably kill me, but it would probably be worth it, let's be honest.
12. - Doctor Handsome (D'bhin). ???/10.
An interesting specimin. Seems he has a pension for phantasia. Makes you wonder what's under the mask. I did always say that if he was taller, I would jump on that like a runaway train...
Honorable Mentions
Tryhard (Xenkei) - 8/10
Come back and you get back on the list. That should be reason enough for you to kill that fucker of a sword.
Bookmark (Robin) - 6/10.
Probably would think about strategy the whole time. Can't decide if that's a good thing or not. Bonus points for pissing off Twila.
Esmond - 7/10.
If he would stick his face out from his own ass, and then from the book pulled out from the same orifice, he would have made the list proper.
Nemesis (V'shach) - 4/10.
A bit old, and short, but I have a feeling those guns aren't the only things he can shoot.
Old Man (Alex) - 4/10.
Ironic that his name seems to be more fitting than ever. If he wasn't, you know, dying rapidly and growing older by the year daily, perhaps.
Big Guy (Eros) - 5/10.
A bit dense, but a loveable guy. Think I have to get to know him more before I can truly say. Seems a bit young, though.
Person (Keel) - 5/10.
I have never seen someone so... average, before in my entire life. I bet his favorite position is missionary.
Stinker (Lunis) - 1/10.
He's a goddamn baby. But, give him twenty years and, judging from his uncle and father, we can talk.
Boy Toy (Truenikos) - 5/10.
Purely to piss off Twila.
Tiger (A'mahxie) - 4/10.
Too young, too loud, and too short. But we'll see, I guess.
Kid (A'yuvn) - 4/10.
Too short, and the amnesiac thing never really did it for me. No offense.
Kaiden - 7/10.
Too young, but I have a feeling he'll kick someone off the list in a few years.
Pina - 9/10.
If you were a guy, I would have paid triple your normal fee by now.
Hunie - 10/10.
Love you girl <3.
Champaska - 11/10.
I promise I'll bring you back, and I'll kill anyone that tries to stop me.
Dishonorable Mentions
Isaac - 4/10.
Too young, and too evil. That shadow is making me really confused right now, though.
Seventus - 8/10.
A perfect example of a pretty face gone sour. If only he wasn't the scum of the earth, right?
Twitch (Osric) - 8/10.
A second perfect example.
Doctor Voss - 0/10.
Fuck off and die, asshole.
Libra - 1/10.
I'm sure he was a looker before he dropped a moon on his own stupid head, but I mean hey, life's full of surprises, amirite?