02-15-2018, 01:26 PM
She closed her eyes as she took the mug from his hand.
“I’m afraid... I’m afraid that no matter what I do... what I try... that all I’ll accomplish is making things worse. I’m afraid that given what I’ve done... I’ve failed the Rebellion. I’ve failed Etney, I’ve failed Flint, I’ve failed Kestrel, I’ve failed everyone. That I’ve made things worse for everyone. That all of them will look at me... what I am... I don’t know what they’ll think of me.... I don’t even know what to think of me... I’m afraid of the look on their faces when they see me for the first time. The look on my mother’s face when she sees me for the first time...
And I’m afraid that when all those people... all those times I was told I was ‘nothing’... that I didn’t matter... they were right. And that I was only able to prove them right by trying so desperately to prove them wrong... I wanted... I wanted to prove them wrong...”
Setting the cup to the side, Alstroe buried her face into her hands.
“I’m afraid... I’m afraid that no matter what I do... what I try... that all I’ll accomplish is making things worse. I’m afraid that given what I’ve done... I’ve failed the Rebellion. I’ve failed Etney, I’ve failed Flint, I’ve failed Kestrel, I’ve failed everyone. That I’ve made things worse for everyone. That all of them will look at me... what I am... I don’t know what they’ll think of me.... I don’t even know what to think of me... I’m afraid of the look on their faces when they see me for the first time. The look on my mother’s face when she sees me for the first time...
And I’m afraid that when all those people... all those times I was told I was ‘nothing’... that I didn’t matter... they were right. And that I was only able to prove them right by trying so desperately to prove them wrong... I wanted... I wanted to prove them wrong...”
Setting the cup to the side, Alstroe buried her face into her hands.